No Offense, But I’d Really Like To Beat You Up

“Mom, Jay keeps calling me a nerd. Just so you know…if he calls me a nerd again, I’m probably going to beat him up.”  Will-10

“Mom, Will is being mean to me for no reason. He said he’s going to beat me up. Just so you know…if he doesn’t stop, I’m probably going to throw something at him.”  Jay-8  

Dear Reader,  just so you know…I do not condone violence. However, do you prefer mustard or mayo on your knuckle sandwich? And, would you care to wash it down with something cold? I’ll be having my sandwich with a tall glass of whatever I can find in the liquor cabinet. Cheers!


A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
This entry was posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to No Offense, But I’d Really Like To Beat You Up

  1. Maxim says:

    Just bash they’re heads together. Everyone gets what they want.


    • Good idea, Maxim. Maybe in the process I’ll be able to knock some sense into them. 😉 Luckily, brothers don’t stay mad for long, just long enough to make their mothers a little crazy.

      Thanks for popping in and for taking the time to comment. There’s a whole lot of nonsense going on over here


  2. Maxim says:

    No problem! Too bad I can’t use the proper “their”. Embarrassing! Haha.


  3. jacquelincangro says:

    Well, at least they are giving you fair warning! 🙂


  4. johncerickson says:

    Have you thought of boxing gloves? Give ’em both exercise and a chance to burn off both energy and frustration, with a minimum of possible damage.
    Alternately, if your neighborhood have a decent-sized lawn, I can get you one of those old, clunky reel mowers, the ones that spin the blades when you push it. Have your neighbors offer them money to mow their lawns. The kids have the incentive of money, and they’ll be so tired, they won’t be able to throw anything more dangerous than a few insults!


    • John, I like your ideas. Maybe we’ll set up a boxing ring in the center of our neighborhood. When summertime togetherness gets to be too much, parents can send their children into the ring to “duke it out” in a safe environment. The winner gets a blue freeze pop. 😉


  5. Hahaha…
    fair warning, anyway. And maybe even enough time to throw on some protective gear! 🙂


  6. I just love your blog! A woman after my own heart. Have another cocktail Mom!


Let Nancy know what you think...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s