A Brilliant Plan…Not!

“Mom, we’ve decided we’re gonna have a yard sale to sell off all of our old, junky, broken-down toys. I bet we can get a ton of money and then you can take us to Toys “R” Us so we can buy all new toys. We’re just gonna chuck ’em out in the front yard now and see what happens. Isn’t that a great idea?” Jay-8 speaking on behalf of Anna-11 & Will-10

Although I’m tempted at the thought of removing toys from my home, past experience has taught me that this plan will only end in disaster. Can you see the flaws? Can you hear the crying? I can. So, in an effort to maintain my sanity while poking fun at my children and parenthood, I thought it would be entertaining to make a little game out of their brilliant plan. It will be a sort of Highlights Magazine Hidden Pictures Game meets Find The Holes In Their Crazy Plan Game, but without the pictures. Get it? Ok. Now start counting and list the flaws. On your mark, get set, go!

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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16 Responses to A Brilliant Plan…Not!

  1. jacquelincangro says:

    Don’t do it, Nancy! This is a trick. Oh it seems like a great idea, but you know that it will be miserable in the end.
    I had a friend who would collecting his children’s old toys and store them away in the garage or attic for months. He thought once the kids had forgotten about the toys, they could be donated or tossed. Inevitably the minute that happened the kids asked for that toy. Tantrums ensued.


    • Bingo, Jacquelin! This is a no win situation. This is what I imagine…broken toys litter the yard, children stunned that no one wants to buy their junk, broken dreams of Toys”R”Us shopping spree, sobbing pleas of “will you take us anyway?” Hard times! 😦


  2. Megan Bieber says:

    You do realize they’ll probably just restock their old toy collection after their next visit to Aunt Suzy’s basement…


  3. Dad says:

    The organizational chart is the biggest problem. They would make more money selling tickets for the boxing match over who will be the CEO. If we simply give the junk (toys) away to our neighbors and encourage them to have a yard sale instead, Grannie Annie would buy them all back. Maybe they could save time and just ask Grannie for a few bucks.


  4. johncerickson says:

    The best, or worst, part – depending on your feelings at the moment – would be the inevitable sale of one of them by the other two. After all, if broken stuff gets a buck or two, a working 8-year-old brother or 11-year-old sister has GOT to be worth a few hundred, right?
    By the by, if they do manage to assemble an inventory for sale, take a couple pics and post them, OK? I might want to bid – I love tinkering with busted up old crap. Half the fans working in our house came out of the trash!
    (Yes, it is hereditary. My father gives packrats a bad name.)


    • John, I have considered the sale of one or two of them, but I’m a bit attatched, as crazy as that may sound. 😉
      Believe me, there’s nothing in that pile of “old, junky, broken-down toys” that anyone would want. Personally, I’d like to throw all the toys in the trash. Can you tell I’m a little grumpy?


  5. Hahaha… oh boy!
    Was this really a mutually arrived at plan, or was Jay just hoping it would be?!


    • I think Jay was the brains behind this plan. He’s asked me about a hundred times today if we could go to Toys “R” Us “just to look around” since I put the kibosh on the yard sale. I’ve fallen for that trick one too many times.


  6. frigginloon says:

    OK, another friend of mine (who isn’t in therapy) collected all her kids old toys and clothing and set up a stall at an Easter fete. Can you believe most of it sold. She made about $300. So go figure. Just keep your fingers crossed they don’t contact “Clean House” or you’re screwed 😦


  7. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    Oh, man! So much possibility for mayhem! During the summer throughout my childhood, I actually used to go out and sell my own toys and refreshments to earn my way to the county fair two blocks away. I loved the thrill of getting the money, then getting in to the fair, but once the fair had gone? I’d cry to my mom about my “lost” toys. She’d patiently point out the consequences before and after, but comfort me nevertheless.

    Maybe that’s one of the benefits of living in an apartment, and having to drive to the tremendously pricey Disneyland! Li’l D won’t think to sell his toys for ride fare, which he’d definitely never make enough of for entry fare anyway. 😉


    • Deborah, you were a very savvy child. I love it! Thanks for sharing.

      Thank you for the bookmark. I’m looking forward to reading your book. I may have to wait until the kiddos head back to school. This house is so crazy right now, I can’t hear myself think! 🙂


  8. Tony McGurk says:

    Sell broken toys for a ton of money? You know it’s so CrAzY it just might work


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