We Got The Evil Elf!

“Hey, look! I found the Elf!”

“I found him first, Jay.”

“No, you didn’t, Will. I did!”

“Jay, you’re lying!”

“No, I’m not. You’re the liar!”

“Yes, you are, Jay. You’re the world’s worst liar ever!”

“Well, you’re the worst brother in the whole world!”

“Well, I hope you get coal in your stocking!”

“Well, I hope you trip on your way to the bus stop and everybody laughs at you! So there!”

“Well, I hope you fail your spelling test today and have to take the 3rd grade over!”

“That’s impossible! Look at my belly button.”

“Mom, did you know that the best way to study for Friday’s spelling test is to color the inside of your belly button with an orange marker? They say it helps with memory. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

Right now I’m wishing my friend, Pickles the Elf, would return to the North Pole. I bet Santa didn’t expect him to cause so much trouble. Who knew a simple game of a hide-and-seek would turn into a cut throat competition resulting in the start of WW III every morning. Look at him…I swear he’s flipping me off.

About youngamericanwisdom.com

A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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34 Responses to We Got The Evil Elf!

  1. Lenore Diane says:

    I will never let that frickin’ frackin’ elf in this house. I banned Barney, and I’m banning the elf, too.
    In other news, Joe and Charlie had a similar war of words (minus elf references) on the way to school today. The car grew smaller and smaller with every mile.


  2. Dad says:

    I guess he will fail his test – not b/c we failed to teach him his spelling words but b/c we failed to teach him his colors. We know what orange means, but what about yellow?


  3. That’s kind of a Velveeta orange. The way I understand it, advanced spelling prowess is only granted with Shullsberg sharp cheddar orange.


  4. ryoko861 says:

    Put the traditional pickle on the the tree. Then they can hunt and peck for two things. And have twice the fun bickering! This is what egg nog is for.


  5. I’m with Lenore! *shivers*


  6. I don’t even know what the elf is all about, and now I’m glad. He does kinda look like he’s flicking you off. Haha!


  7. John Erickson says:

    I’m not sure which is worse – that you see the elf flipping you off, or that I do, too. I seriously think you need to give that little bugger the boot!
    Stick with reindeer characters. That way, if they look like they’re doing something rude, you just pass it off as “Oh, that’s just his horns.” 😉


  8. Pickles is definitely flicking you off. I have experience with this.


  9. Carrie says:

    Does that belly button coloring stuff work with crap at the office?

    Cause if it does, I am SHO willing to try it.


  10. well, i hope u have a peaceful holiday…altho’ i truly am the grinch about this “time of year”. continue…


  11. MC/Curtis says:

    He’s definitely evil looking. He seems like one of those scary movie toys.
    Maybe he whispers to the sleeping boys.


  12. John Erickson says:

    Wow, first the “spawn of Satan” painting of the little girl, now this demonic elf! We gotta get you guys on Ghost Hunters or some such show. Your place MUST be haunted! 😉


  13. Karen says:

    Put him in a box in a tightly wrapped box in the attic with the “spawn of Satan”! Happy Holidays, Nancy!!


  14. Sounds a little brutal!
    But I’m always psyched about some memory improvement tips…
    if I could only remember what they were now…


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