Keep Your Pencil Out Of The Pissoir

Jay, did you or did you not put your pencil in the urinal at church and then wipe it on your sister? Tell me the truth and do not lie!”

“No! No way! I swear, Mom. I would never do that.”

“Why would she make that up?”

“Because she wants to get me in trouble. It’s a well-known fact that she secretly hates me.”

“So, you’re telling me you’re completely innocent and she made up the whole story?”

“Well, no. Parts of the story are true.”

“So, you’re lying?”

“No. Not really. I mean, I did wipe my pencil on her, but I never actually put it in the urinal. That part was a joke not a lie.”

Jay-9 & Anna-12


A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
This entry was posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to Keep Your Pencil Out Of The Pissoir

  1. Tori Nelson says:

    I know I’m supposed to be an adult and whatnot, but somedays I would LOVE to pull that prank of a few folks!


  2. madtante says:

    Like the old pretend to pick your nose but wipe the finger for real on somebody? Classic.


  3. Yesterday I picked up my son Jake from school and was told that he tried to put a baby carrot up another kid’s nose. He told me it was an accident. Of course I didn’t believe him. Then he told me he just wanted his friend to smell it. Now I’m not so sure.


  4. muddledmom says:

    He’d get along with my son and his friends who at school tried to flush a pencil down the toilet. I don’t think they wiped it on anyone. But they did plenty of other gross things in there.


  5. ryoko861 says:

    He’ll be a good lawyer, the ability to twist the truth around is hard to obtain talent! He seems to come by it naturally!


  6. cooper says:

    a politician in the making. i’m so sorry.


  7. So he told you the truth and lied to her as a joke…no problem. Lighten up mom..haha


  8. kid should be a politician – or a comedian…or a stand-up politician. continue…


  9. frigginloon says:

    She should be grateful it was only urine …I’m just saying 😯


  10. Lenore Diane says:

    Sounds like something my siblings would do. Wait. I think they did do it!


  11. Binky says:

    I doubt it’s a secret that she hates him.


  12. Ah, yes, the old I-can-say-no-if-there-is-even-one-tiny-part-I-didn’t-do trick. As a teacher I’ve learned that I cannot interrogate with multiple infractions in one question.
    Did you pick up a pencil? Did you dip it in the urinal? Did you wipe it on your sister? Did you tell your sister it was dipped in the urinal?
    It’s exhausting work.


  13. HA! Socks… they do it all! They make great oven-mitts, too, you know.


  14. I just saw ‘Horrible Bosses’ last night… don’t know if you’ve seen it or not… but…
    could be worse, Nancy. Could be worse.


  15. sarsm says:

    Aren’t kids entertaining?


  16. Sandi Ormsby says:

    Ohhh…yes…the half-truths. No I didn’t. Nu-uhhhhh. Well, I did do this, but not that! So, that = I didn’t do it.

    Yes, we know that one well in our family.

    lake forest, CA


  17. Androgoth says:

    This reminds me of the horrible habit of…
    Okay it’s a kid’s trick of pretending to pick
    their nose and wipe it on a friend..

    Ghoulish I Know, But it’s Your Fault For
    Adding This Rather Gruesome Posting 🙂 lol

    Androgoth Xx


  18. Sank says:

    I want to put my kids up against your kids in a contest of who can be the most annoying to each other. Hah.. Great blog you have here.


  19. Tony McGurk says:

    I only wish I’d thought of that when I was a kid. So I am wondering did you actually go into the men’s toilets to get that photo???


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