I Heard It On The Bus: Part X

“Mom, did you know that the best kind of teachers are the ones that laugh at your jokes and don’t send you to the principal’s office? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

In celebration of the start of school and the return of the big yellow bus, I thought it would be fitting to resume my blogging career with the latest scoop from the back of the bus. Fact or fiction? I’ll let you be the judge.

1.  “Mom, did you know the way a person butters their toast tell you a lot about the way they play sports? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

2.  “Mom, did you know that if you fart on your sister’s pillow before she goes to bed, she’ll grow chest hair overnight? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

3.  “Mom, did you know that during the summer, most school bus drivers make voodoo dolls of all the kids they secretly hate? That’s why so many kids get sunburn over the summer. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”    

4.  “Mom, did you know it’s a well-known fact that listening to rap music before breakfast causes brain damage? That’s why you should always wait until after lunch. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

5.  “Mom, did you know that thousands of kids are hospitalized each summer for brain freeze injuries? Red freeze pops cause the most damage. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

6.  “Mom, did you know that some people from foreign countries like to tan their armpits? They consider their pits to be their best feature. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

7.  “Mom, did you know that most robbers live in tree houses when they break out of jail? That’s why it’s always a good idea to check the trees in your yard before you head to bed. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

8.  “Mom, did you know if you hold in a sneeze, you’re likely to rupture a testicle? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

9.  “Mom, did you know that a blind, three-legged hamster is considered good luck? Especially when you carry it around in your back pocket. It increases your chances of winning the lottery. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

10. “Mom, did you know that instead of taking swim lessons, you can sprinkle fish food on your sheets before you go to bed? In the morning you’ll swim like Michael Phelps. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”  

I hope you all had fun and relaxing summers. For past I Heard It On The Bus episodes, click below. You’ll be glad you did.

I Heard It On The Bus

I Heard It On The Bus: Part II

I Heard It On The Bus: Part III

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV

I Heard It On The Bus: Part V

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX