You Stuck What Where?

Will:  It hurts!Dumb and Dumber

Me:   Well, of course it does. Why would you do something so stupid?

Will:  Jay told me to. Am I going to be ok?

Me:   I’m not sure at what point taking medical advice from your 10-year-old brother seemed like a good idea. He’s the same kid who’s convinced you can make soda by farting into a juice box.

Jay:  Hey! I heard that. I was just trying to help.

Me:   I appreciate you trying to help, but telling your brother to use a turkey baster to remove water from his ear is not a good idea.

Jay:  It seemed like something a doctor would do.

Me:   Last time I checked, they weren’t handing out medical degrees to 4th graders.

Jay:  Actually, you’re wrong. In places like China, there are really smart 8-year-olds performing brain surgery. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.

Me:  Don’t believe anything you hear on the bus. And anyway, you’re not from China and you’re not a doctor.

Jay:  No, but it would be pretty cool if I was. I’d ask everybody to call me Dr. Jay.

Will:  Ow! You’re killing me!

Me:   Please hold still and let me put in the drops.

Jay:  Is his ear busted up for good? Because if it is, it might be sorta cool if he had to learn sign language. Then he’d be bilingual. I hear that helps you get into college.

Will:  Oh my God! Am I going deaf? I don’t want to learn sign language!

Me:   Calm down! You’ll be fine. Just promise that you guys will never do anything this stupid again. Got it?

Jay:  Ok. We promise, but just so you know, that juice box thing really works. I haven’t perfected it yet, but I’m pretty close. The last time I tried, I found a few bubbles in my juice.


A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
This entry was posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to You Stuck What Where?

  1. I always love when you post, because I’m guaranteed to smile if not laugh out loud. However, today I find myself with a disturbed giggle, as I don’t really want to laugh at the pain. 😛


  2. dad says:

    Interesting coincidence…When I was 10, Dr. J was my idol. Now at 10, my son wants to be Dr. Jay.


  3. memaw says:

    I know I should to be doing the whole “compassionate grandma” thing to my poor Will since he has a turkey baster stinking out of his ear, but he’s going to have to wait until after I stop laughing.


  4. ryoko861 says:

    The juice box thing…let me guess…he heard it on the bus! That bus is pretty amazing. It’s the Wiki bus! Full of all sorts of information!


  5. Ah, yes…
    juice-box alchemy…


  6. Remind me not to drink anything at your house


  7. Lenore Diane says:

    There is so much wrong with this post that it makes it brilliantly so right.


  8. Binky says:

    Everyone knows turkey basters are only used on turkey ear problems. He needs to get a kid baster.


Let Nancy know what you think...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s