The Bad Babysitter

(ring, ring)

Me:  Hello?Call Me!

Anna:  Mom, when do you think you guys will be home?

Me:  We’re having dessert now. Why? What’s wrong?

Anna:  Well, nothing serious, it’s just that Jay thinks he might be having a heart attack.

Me:  WHAT?

Anna:  Yup, he says his heart is beating fast and his arms are tingly, but I really don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to call an ambulance.

Me:  Oh my God! Put your brother on the phone.

Jay:  Mom, when are you coming home? I’m scared.

Me:  What’s going on, Jay? Are you ok?

Jay:  I was fine until the part in the movie where the giant shark eats the boy.

Me:  WHAT?

Jay:  I can feel my heart beating really fast. I’ve never seen so much blood!

Me:  Put your sister on the phone…NOW!

Anna:  Hello?

Me:  What the hell are you watching?

Anna: We’re watching Jaws and if you ask me, I don’t think it’s very believable. You can totally tell it’s a fake shark.Jaws

Me:  You’re suppose to be babysitting your little brother! What would possess you to put on Jaws? You know he freaks out at the sight of his own blood.

Anna: It was totally his idea. He made me put it on. You know, it’s amazing how much better special effects are today.

Me: He made you?

Anna:  Well, he promised not to get scared. He even swore it on the Holy Bible. Actually, he swore on an old dictionary because I couldn’t find the Bible, but I don’t think he noticed.

Me: Turn it off now!

Anna:  Don’t worry. We only watched it up to the part where they blow up the shark. You know, I think Jay might have started sucking his thumb again.

Me:  We’re leaving now.

Anna:  Are you mad?

Me:  What do you think?

Anna:  I’m just wondering if this is going to effect how much you were planning on paying me?

I'm Scared of Jaws!


A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
This entry was posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to The Bad Babysitter

  1. This reminds me of my teenage years when I’d have to babysit my younger sister and brother, and I would always get in trouble for what they did.


  2. JWo says:

    That. Is. Hilarious.

    I’d say you should start leaving little sharks around the house to “help” him with his fear. Maybe that’s why I don’t have any kids of my own. HAHA…


  3. I wouldn’t even get into the swimming pool at first after Jaws came out. 😉 I also remember freaking myself out once watching Poltergeist while I was babysitting. At least then the kids were asleep.


  4. dad says:

    I predict a future of sitting by the pool when we are at the beach.


  5. deb says:

    At least this didn’t happen when WE went out!


  6. Anna had him swear on the dictionary, and wonders if you being mad will affect her pay. Such charming naivete! 😀


  7. Love the guys in the boat in Jay’s drawing. I hope they paddle fast! 🙂


  8. Gray Dawster says:

    This is bloody brilliant Nancy 🙂 🙂
    I like the it when he says…
    “We’re going to need a bigger boat”
    What a wicked posting indeed 🙂

    Andro xxxx


  9. See now, that’s the kind of babysitting that makes kids appreciate their parents a bit more.


  10. muddledmom says:

    I still don’t like to swim at the beach. Rough movie. Still, I totally can’t wait until my son can babysit my daughter. They’ll get over Jaws or whatever else they watch.


  11. Memaw says:

    What is this world coming to when you can’t trust the word of a 10 year old swearing on a dictionary?


  12. cooper says:

    what are big sisters for if not terrorizing their younger siblings? At least it wasn’t Jaws 3D….


  13. Dave says:

    When I was a child I was more interested in the teenagers making out on Jaws. I always got aggravated because that shark would come over and kill them before I could satisfy my curiosity.

    Now that I am a parent I guarantee a parent was trying to send their children a message. Make out with somebody and a shark will eat you! 🙂


  14. He might need to use that dictionary to help with his spelling..haha


  15. memaw says:

    I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to call Anna and give her a heads-up that Piranha is on tonight at 7, so feel free to have her babysit this evening.


  16. Just as long as your babysitter doesn’t decide to shut-down the beach…


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