“Will, going forward, you are absolutely NOT allowed to do your brother’s
homework…even if he begs you and promises to give you all of his money. Do you understand me?” Me to Will-10
The handwriting was my first tip-off, the guilty faces were a dead giveaway.
Young American Wisdom 
Tell Jay I’ll do it for half of Will’s fee. No questions asked. (I’m also quite good at imitating handwriting. I won’t tell you how I perfected that skill.)
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But how’s your poker face? I have a wicked evil eye.
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Business is business, that is how the real world works. You are like to government cutting business off at the knees with all the stupid regulations. Will is a smart kid, likewise Jay’s grades are sure to rise. At the same time Will is learning to make a few extra bucks. I think it sounds like a winner.
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Yes, but I think the teacher will notice when Will sneaks in to take the test…they don’t look that much alike.
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Where there is a will there is a way – let them figure that out. Jay is a smart kid. He is going to run the country some day. He can have his minions do all his dirty work for him.
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Dad if you were smart you would play government and tax Will for the money he makes.
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Thinking it through, 1) Jay steals Will’s money. 2) Jay hires Will to do his homework. 3) Jay pays Will with the money he took from Will. 4) I tax Will on his earnings. 5) I give Jay the money I took from Will because Jay has the least amount of money and is presently unemployed.
In the end, Jay plays outside and has fun but gets his work done and ends up with all the money. Meanwhile, Will slaves away doing all the work and ends up with nothing. That sounds about as logical as what we get from our “representatives” in Washington D.C.
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Sometimes I still do Kyle’s homework. He never pays me.
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Brother’s can be so ungrateful…just steal it out of his piggy bank.
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Only $5 bucks, that’s pretty cheap labor. He needs to unionize!
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I’ll suggest it to him. 😉
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Hey, if Will is smarter, than it’s win-win-win all around. Like Dad says, Jay gets better grades, Will makes money, the school has better performance ratings – everybody’s happy. Just be sure Will isn’t handing tests down – I tried that once with my older sister, using her (heavily corrected) copy to find all the answers. Stupid teachers changed the question order. Kinda like the episode of MASH where Radar goes for his GED. “Question 1: What speech is Lincoln best known for?” “An isosceles triangle.” “Question 2: What geometric shape has two sides equal?” “Abraham Lincoln.”
(I couldn’t trust her for correct answers on write-ins. She was a D+ student, I was A-/B+.)
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Aw, I’ve given my poor Jay a bad rap. 😦
He is equally as smart, he just prefers to have a posse of minions do his work for him…frees up his time to build Lego guys and wicked swords. 😉
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Don’t underestimate the smarts involved with selling someone on doing all the work and paying them with someone else’s money.
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Hey! Share the story with John about your brother and the paper that he “borrowed.” It’s similar to his comment about his sister’s test. 🙂
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John, your comment about your sister’s test reminds me of a story about my brother-in-law. I’ll get “Dad” to share.
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There are endless stories that come to mind like forging my mom’s name on a bad test but spelling her name wrong. But, I think you are referring to his Junior High School girlfriend’s history papers. He had US History the year after she had the same class with the same teacher. Being the nice girlfriend, she gave him all of her papers for the year. When the first paper was due, he handed in her paper – the exact paper. He simply drew one line through her name and wrote his name on top in a different color ink. The teacher failed him and ridiculed him for his cheating laziness. When the next paper was due, he tore the corner off the next paper and stapled a new corner with his name in its place.
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A buddy of mine had a jock that was doing that (stealing my buddy’s homework and – his only smart move – changing the name), and for some reason getting away with it. The jock was, however, missing a number of assignments, and had taken some pop quizzes that he had failed miserably – hence his “leaning” on my buddy. The mid-term test was a paper, and the jock went after my buddy. I got to my buddy first (thanks to a well-developed spy network) and we concocted a paper that read quite well at first glance, but went on to be an entire confession. The jock took it and turned it in. BUSTED!! The jock got an “F” for the first half of the year, and ended up being held back a year. Fortunately for my buddy, the jock moved away shortly after the end of the year. We were sweating, but the payback was DELICIOUS!
The moral to your story? I’d hope it was he learned his lesson in school and started working hard. More likely, he learned how to gather a talented circle of support and has rode their work to success. Life doesn’t go how you expect after school – one year after our high school class graduated, 9 of the top 10 students had entered AND dropped out of college (including the valedictorian), 2 of them having been in more than one college!
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You’re right, John. Who you are in highschool does not determine who you are as a grown-up. Thanks for sharing your story.
So, when are you starting that blog? 🙂
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Maybe they were just studying economics together…
supply and demand…
and all that other… economicy… stuff…
🙂
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Sig, It sounds like you might be in cahoots with those two. 😉
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This is a future conversation in my house. I know this already.
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Lenore, watch out for hushed whispers on the swing set, the sound of piggy banks being emptied, a change of handwriting on the math homework, and the ever obvious look of guilt. Start practicing your stink eye now…the little buggers crack under pressure. 😉
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OK, next time get Will to type it and charged extra for the service. That way they can avoid your evil eye 🙂
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And, my evil eye is super wicked. I practice it daily.
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I don’t have children and didn’t have siblings, BUT… forgery I know.
Here is a tip for the older kids:
“I’m not feeling so great, but I want to go to school today because (insert lie here {my lies usually involved wanting to talk to some girl}). Can I have a note for gym, so I don’t have to participate today?”
Trace note. Change words around.
Take forgery to the office.
Excused absence for two days of skipping school! (Or whatever).
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This sounds very familiar. I think you taught me this in homeroom in highschool. 😉
Welcome MC Curtis! Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll stop back.
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Holly shit batman, this simple post went all political and shit. I can not stop laughing. Will is my man! a super genius! Sounds like some of your readers are drinking the koolaid. This site is sooooo much fun because of the great comments. Nobody takes themselfs too serious. luv it. Do me a favor Nancy, give dad a hug!
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Themselves: could not see what i was typing thru the tears of laughter
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Pete, I’m happy to entertain…glad the nonsense made you laugh. I make an effort not to take myself too seriously. 😉
You’ll find you are in good company here. These people know how to laugh. Thanks for reading!
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