Follow a mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity. She will use this as blackmail, you can use it for birth control.Don’t Steal My Stuff…my kids will cry!
© Young American Wisdom 2011
Young American Wisdom by www.youngamericanwisdom.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Monthly Archives: June 2011
I’ll Be The Good Guy And You Be The Bad Guy
“Where are my Bobby pins? Who took my Bobby pins? Why would someone take my Bobby pins?”
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged Bobby Pins, comedy, funny, humor, kids, life, Ninjas, parenting, play
8 Comments
It’s Not My Fault…I swear
“Mom, just so you know…I didn’t do it. There was a cup of juice, that wasn’t mine, that accidentally spilled on the coffee table, but it wasn’t my fault. I just found it there, all by itself with spillage everywhere. … Continue reading
Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged childhood shenanigans, comedy, Entertainment, Excuses, funny, Holy Shit!, humor, kids, life, motherhood, Ouija Board, parenting, Sarcasm
24 Comments
He Begs, Borrows and Steals…only sometimes
“Mom, Jay snuck into my room and stole all the gum out of my gumball machine.” Will-10 “No, I didn’t! I only stole some of it.” Jay-8 “Jay, you stole 98% of it. You left me with 2 pieces.” Will-10 “Will, … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, Parenting
Tagged brothers, bubble gum, comedy, funny, humor, kids, life, parenting, Siblings
35 Comments
Brothers Don’t Let Brothers Eat Embarrassing Lunches
“Will, you can NOT let Mom put your sandwich in THAT container for lunch?” Jay-8 “Why not? I can’t eat a squished sandwich.” Will-10 “Why?!? Because it says, ‘Lunch-Munch, Yum-Yum’ and there are happy animals dancing on the lid. You … Continue reading
Feed Me Lobster
“Mom, why the heck is lobster so expensive? Do you think those lobster guys get a lot of money fishing for lobsters? Cause if they do, I might wanna be a lobster guy. I bet they make like a million … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged comedy, Deadliest Catch, Entertainment, funny, humor, Ice Road Truckers, kids, life, Lobster, parenting
28 Comments
You Wish Your Porsche Was My Lamborghini
“Jay, the most expensive Lamborghini is more expensive than the most expensive Ferrari, which is more expensive than the most expensive Porsche…it’s true.” Will-10 “Will, I would definitely rather have the most expensive Lamborghini than the most expensive Ferrari.” Jay-8 … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged brothers, comedy, Ferrari, funny, humor, kids, Lamborghini, life, parenting, Porsche
19 Comments
Breakfast of Champions
“Mom, there’s a piece of pepperoni in my cereal.” Jay-8 “Jay, you’re eating Cheerios. How would a piece of pepperoni end up in your bowl?” “Oh! Nevermind. It’s just my gum.” Jay-8 Yes, I know. Where did he get the … Continue reading
Your Favorite Song Is Stupid!
“Anna, this is your favorite song.” Jay-8 “No, it’s not.” Anna-11 “Yes, it is. It’s totally your favorite song.” Jay-8 “Jay! This is NOT my favorite song. I don’t even like this song.” Anna-11 “Yes, it is. Will, isn’t this … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged comedy, family, favorite song, humor, John Denver, kids, life, parenting, Sarcasm, Siblings
41 Comments
Non-Stop To China
“Mom, I think it would be really cool to go to China someday. I hear the plane ride is really long, but Will told me that they give out free massages on the plane.” Jay-8 “Hey Will, did you tell … Continue reading
The Redcoats Are Coming!
“Mom, I’m sorta glad I don’t live in England. I think I’d probably feel badly about losing the Revolutionary War. Do you think the British are embarrassed?” Will-10 He’s a very empathetic child.
Posted in crazy kids, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged British, comedy, funny, humor, kids, parenting, Real Life, Revolutionary War
11 Comments
A Gift To Remember
“Hey guys! What should we get Daddy for Father’s Day?” “How about a Lamborghini?” Jay-8 “Until your rap career is up and running, that’s a bit out of our price range.” “How about a used Lamborghini?” Jay-8 “Still out of … Continue reading
Dummies of the Year!
I feel like I’ve won the lottery! Mel over at Dummies of the Year has honored me with his Top Commenter of the week award. Please head over to dummiesoftheyear.com to check him out. You’ll be glad you did!
Don’t Hate Me Because I Drive A Lamborghini, Hate Me Because You Still Drive A Minivan
“Mom, when I become a professional baseball player like Ryan Howard, I’m going to buy everyone in our family a Lamborghini. Won’t that be great?” Jay -8 It looks like I’m going to have a baseball playing, Lamborghini driving, ninja … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged comedy, Entertainment, funny, humor, kids, Lamborghini, parenting, Ryan Howard, Sarcasm
21 Comments
I Dream Of Shaq
“Mom, my new goal is to play in the NBA with Shaq. I’ve been practicing. I think they’ll take me.” Jay-8 “Jay, you can’t play against Shaq. He’s retired.” Will-10 “What!?! He’s retired!?! Why!?!” Jay-8 “Jay, Shaq’s old. He’s turning … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged brothers, family life, funny, humor, kids, LeBron James, NBA, parenting, Shaq, Yao Ming
15 Comments
Those Rich Dudes
“Mom, who made more money, the dude that invented the popsicle or the guy who invented electricity…what was his name again?” Jay-8 The dude that invented the popsicle owes his fame and fortune to the guy who discovered electricity. Without … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged Benjamin Franklin, comedy, funny, humor, kids, kids quotes, life, parenting, popsicle, Sarcasm
26 Comments
The Samsung Lame
“Mom, do you have any idea how embarrassing my life is? Don’t you know that in 5th & 6th grade kids are identified by their cell phones? And I’m stuck with Daddy’s stupid old flip phone. I’ve got a Samsung Lame…that means I’m … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged cell phones, family life, funny, humor, kids, kids quotes, lame life, parenting, The Smiths
32 Comments
Shocking Realization
“Mom, did you know that I’m actually closer to being 20 then you are? And, by a lot.” Anna-11 What?!? How the hell did this happen? I was 20 just last week…right? This must be some sort of cruel joke. Am I being … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged Aging, Ashton Kutcher, funny, humor, kids, kids quotes, parenting, Punk'd, Real Life, Sarcasm
28 Comments
Mom, What Do You Think Would Happen If I Accidentally On Purpose Did Something Completely Stupid? And now I’m afraid I might die!
“Mom, I’m just wondering about something. What do you think would happen if I accidentally ate an entire bag of Skittles before breakfast? Do you think it would help me on my math test today?” Will-10 There have been an … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged bad ideas, comedy, Daily Life, family, funny, humor, kids, kids quotes, parenting, Sarcasm, Stupid Ideas
19 Comments
There’s A Rapper In My House
“Mom, do rappers get paid because I’ve been working on a rap song. Check this out… Boom chicka bam bam, looking through a rubber band. Boom chicka bam bam, looking through underwear. Boom chicka bam bam, I think it’s time to eat a … Continue reading
Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting
Tagged Biggie Smalls, comedy, Eminem, Entertainment, funny, humor, Kanye West, kids, P. Diddy, parenting, Rap, Sarcasm, Satire
43 Comments
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