Monthly Archives: January 2012

Get With The Program, Shorty!

“Ok. Now pay attention, Jay. My people are set up over here and your people are set up over there. If your people break the rules then my people can sue your people.” “Wait a second, Anna. I have no idea … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 40 Comments

Stop Clowning Around!

“Mom, you know how Jay will pretty much believe anything you tell him? Well, I’ll bet you 5 bucks and a pack of baseball cards that if I tell him it’s Clown Day at school tomorrow, I can get him to go to … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 36 Comments

Keep Your Pencil Out Of The Pissoir

“Jay, did you or did you not put your pencil in the urinal at church and then wipe it on your sister? Tell me the truth and do not lie!” “No! No way! I swear, Mom. I would never do that.” … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 44 Comments

Smells Like A Size 5

Me:  “C’mon, guys! We’ve been through this before…the next time I find a wet towel on your bed or dresser, you’re all in serious trouble. You’re going to ruin the furniture. Pick up the towels and hang them on the hooks. It’s … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Guess What’s In The Chandelier?

“C’mon, Mom! Please stop crying. You’ve gotta admit…it’s sorta funny that the chandelier is now filled with pee.”  Anna-12 There’s nothing quite like returning home and discovering a waterfall in your dining room. One of my beautiful, smart children, who will … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 42 Comments

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII

“Mom, did you know that the first piece of cheese was discovered in 1896 by a farmer in West Virginia? That guy had some sorta special cheese making cow that he sold to the government for a million bucks. That’s why we have … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 60 Comments

Playing Hookey

“Mom, if I got a concussion would I have to go to school?” Jay-8 This is what I thought… “WTF?!?” But this is what I said… “Jay, why would you ask me that question?” This was his response… “No reason, … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 47 Comments

My Child’s Gifted…eat your heart out!

“Mom, did you know there’s a kid on the bus who can fart his ABC’s? I think he might just be the luckiest kid in the whole world.”  Will-10 I, for one, would be thrilled as a parent to have this … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Deep Thoughts Over Cheerios

Prepare yourself, we are about to get deep… “Mom, I’ve got a question. What if I was sitting all by myself in my room, but everybody else in the whole world happened to be hanging out in Africa, I mean … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 61 Comments

In The Eye Of The Beholder

“Mom, can you get me a grey sweater? Sorta like the color of your hair right before you dye it. Oh, and by the way, when you make that face, your forehead sorta reminds me of notebook paper. Thanks, mom. … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 52 Comments

I Want A Comfy Chair, damn it!

“Mom, here’s the thing I don’t understand about school…how come only the teachers get the comfy chairs? I think I would learn a lot better if I had a comfy chair, too.”    Jay-8 I think the kid’s got a point. … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 40 Comments